Key learnings from my second project

I got a new “boss” and temporarily I report to him. I don’t know him before and he leaves quite positive impression by a looking-judgement. He looks integrate and trustworthy.

I had very unpleasant experience from my second rotation project. No matter how hard I worked, I just feel unaccepted by the team. And the suggestions and ideas I brought up were usually ignored or unwelcomed. I have been frustrated for quite a while and I really don’t want to carry this negative feel forward. So I think seeking the counseling from my new boss might be a good idea.

Looking back, in the hope of reversing this situation, I did a very straightforward conversation with my project leader. The key message I got was that as a high-profile management candidate, the attitude/feeling of my peers toward me would be at best neutral and commonly distasteful because I would be assumed to take a managerial postion in about two years whereas many colleagues might need to take much longer time to get that kind of promotion. The hidden words- you should stay low and be cautious, otherwise you will just be shot down.

After the conversation, I did watch my mouth and tried to be more diplomatic and political. However, the situation seemed not much improved. I mentioned earlier in my blog “Negotiate smartly”. I think I am not paid by my company to shut up. I wanted to give help and put out my out-of-box thinking. But again, I was hitting the war and catapulted back. I could not understand why is that? Is it that once perception has been shaped, it would be hard to change. The hunch on my back is that the team dislikes me much more than my ideas.

After hearing my grievance, the new boss reacted with two points. First, I should keep being proactive and intiative. But when I sell my ideas across, be humble and polital. It is more about how you say it than what you say. Second, our company’s main stream culture is quite open, so the situation I was in is not common.

Regarding point 2, I hope it is true, otherwise I made the wrong decision to join this company. Regarding point 1, I thought I might have said something like “ we should do this rather than that” but I never rolled over my colleagues and under estimated their ability. I really doubt it is my wording in the e-mail triggered the resentfulness to me. It is still probably my identity, as a management candidate with a short working history with this company arouse the distastefulness from my chinese colleauge. And the lacking of leadership from the project manager worsened the situation. Instead of coaching me and help me, he just protected his ego by ignoring my voice or simply shutting off.

In retrospect, I think what I am look for is not an advice but a sympathy from my new boss. Although I think I didn’t get what I really want, the conversation provided me a chance to self-reflect on what have happened and generate some key learnings:

1.When you join the team, obserse your boss first speak second. If your boss is close-minded, you’d better cautiously utter your voice and make sure untouch your boss’s big ego, no mention hurting it.
2.If you are a team leader, never muzzle the voices different from you. Keep an open team atmosphere is essential to fulfill everyone’s potential in the team. Otherwise, a team work will always end up with one man show or one voice. Consequently, the productivity will be suffered.
3.If you are mistreated, don’t blame and never try to revenge. Check on yourself and see what you can do differently to change the situation. Learn the lesson in a postive way and never carry the negative feel forward. In my case, I will continue to be proative and initiative in the future no matter where I am. But I would be more wary of the boss with a close mindset. In the real life, Someone likes us and someone doesn’t. Most of all, like yourself always and never let other people’s opinion bring you down.